"You can still be happy with a job not-well-done, as long as you gave it 100%."

Although it sounds counter-intuitive, its not. There's a myriad of reasons why a project might fail that have nothing to do with the effort put into it. Your requirements might be fluid, your deadlines restrictive, your budget too tight, etc. These things are not new in any project, and in fact seem the norm. Its how you approach the challenge that makes the difference. If you give up before you start because you know you can't meet the deadline, then you've already lost. But if you can figure out some way to make it work, even if the end product is not what you want, then there is nothing to be unhappy about, especially if you can make it. It seems you can reach some sort of zen-like acceptance of being simultaneously happy and unhappy while being perfectly alright with it all.

At least, that's the conclusion that I've come to after completing the last project at work. We took a piece of turd, cut it up, mixed it around, put it back together and polished it up good enough for release. Its not the piece of poop I wanted to release, but given the contraints we had, I reckon we did bloody well to release something that didn't smell all that bad.

Just after Christmas I started sharing Jono's World of Warcraft account so that I could give it a try, and play online with Michele. Up until two weeks ago, I had levelled up a Night Elf Hunter to level 24. Then, two weeks ago, we decided to form a guild and start playing regularly with some of the people at work. The problem was, Jono also wanted to play at the same time, so I finally had to buy my own account.

We're playing the Horde faction, and I'm playing a Tauren Druid. Druid's kick ass, but I'm hanging out for level 20 so I can get my cat form. After playing my Night Elf for so long, it's nice to play a different character and class. I'm thinking of creating a new character somewhere, possibly a Rogue.

About this time last year I was feeling pretty sorry for myself. My car had broken down, work was shit, work was having issues paying me on time, I was having financial issues, and generally things weren't looking good. A lot has happenned since then. I've knocked off a significant amount of my debt (and paid my HECS debt off), changed jobs, fixed my car, and things are looking pretty good!

The end of the work year culminated with a series of per department parties, which our team managed to get invited to. In particular, I enjoyed the joint Network Services and Applications gatherring, as most of the corporate staff were there. It really struck home how much I'd missed the people from iiNet, and even though there were some that really shat me off, all in all they're fun and intelligent people to work with. I felt happy to be part of that again - remarkable considerring how I felt when I left.

Later this month I'm heading to Sydney for an Iaido and Jodo seminar (which I'm quite excited about) which I'm really looking forward to. I really regret missing last years seminar, as I've only heard good things about it. It''s a shame that Michele won't be able to join us, but at least I'll have Marcus to keep me company.

This year is starting off well and promises to get better.

A week and a half in and the new shiny job smell still hasn't worn off! I'd say it's a record, but I'd be lying.

I'm finally doing a programming job. I've been waiting for a while to do it (although I have no one else to blame for my tardiness except myself). Sure, I might be doing User Interface stuff, but its still programming. I still find it satisfying to be able to release something that solves a problem (bug fixes, new features, new systems entirely, whatever). While the work is challenging, it's still good fun.

It's funny that however much you try to separate your work life and own time, they still impact each other heavily. No matter how hard you try to leave your work stuff at work, the good and bad feelings bubble over into your personal time. Since the beginning of this new job I've been feeling happier than I have been for a long time. Although I'm sure it depends from person to person, it goes to show that job satisfaction does have a significant impact on your overall mental well-being. In my experience, it takes hindsight to realise how much of an effect it does have.

I think that job satisfaction is a measure of reaching your personal goals. Everyone is different, and everyone wants a different thing from their jobs. Personally it feels like a job has to allow me to be "productive", "creative", "challenged", "purposeful", and maybe just "busy" too. It doesn't have to be easy. It can be bloody hard. It can be frustrating. But if I can do something and feel like I've achieved something, then that seems good enough. I didn't have that at Curtin. I didn't even have that when I was working in Network Services. Previously, the only times I've felt that way was when I was programming. Funny that.

I don't think it's specifically programming that does it for me, but that I can achieve those goals through programming. I could very well feel the same way about another occupation entirely, such as teaching, or driving a bus. If you can find the things in the job that allow you to reach those goals of yours, then you should be able to be satisfied. Same goes for everything.

Jarrah was celebrating her change of job at the Belgian Beer Cafe. It was good to catch up with her and her better other half, Brettski (as well as Sven, but more on that later). Its not often I get to catch up with those guys, and I always wish it could be longer. Seeing her in "business attire" was kinda funny too :P

The problem with the infrequent catch-ups is that you lose common ground for conversation, and once you've done the usual "so what have you been up to then?" type pleasantries I'm sorta lost for anything to talk about (I don't have what people would call 'good social skills'). Except the common ground that we all have - work. Sure, the purpose of tonight's celebration was work (Jarrah is celebrating a change of job), but still, as we were leaving Brett mentioned that I should update my blog more often so he could read about me bitching about work :P And it's true, I do bitch about work a lot. I don't mind that, but I sometimes worry that I'm being seen as someone who's always bitching about it - a thin line sometimes.

I think that bitching about work is not a bad thing, if you have the right frame of mind about it. I use this space as a place to let people know what I think of things. If something is on my mind and is pissing me off, I will probably say something about it here. Usually, if work is going well, or I've vented in some other forum, or nothing much is really happening, then I won't mention anything. It's kinda cathartic to put it all down on the digital landscape, and it gives you an opportunity to come back later and see how your perception of things changes over time. Sometimes the things I write here are more for myself than for other people, but I don't mind others seeing my thoughts: I am what I am, and what I think is a big part of what makes up me. (Whether or not it's just a bunch of pretentious wank is another story).

But for now, I can stop my bitching about Curtin. I've had my rants and tantrums, bitched about it, etc etc. But I handed in my resignation today. iiNet invited me to apply for a programming position in the Applications department, and after going through the interview process offered me a job.

Over the past year and a half I've had a lot of time to reflect over my previous employment at iiNet, and the things that caused me to leave. I think that the problem was two fold: I didn't fit with the way that iiNet worked (in my area, at least); and I couldn't handle not fitting with iiNet. No matter how I want to put it (the technical aspects of my reasoning at the time, the project work what wasn't proceeding, etc), that's all it boils down to. It doesn't mean that either one of us is more right or wrong than the other, but we're just different (although I still have opinions about that for some things).

People don't normally change much over a year and a half, or even up to 5 years. But I feel that I have, at least a significant amount for me. I worry that I'm not making the right choice to move back to iiNet, but I'm still going to. I want to. I've regretted not taking the opportunity to move into that team when I had the chance, and I feel that I'm in a much better position, mentally and emotionally, to approach the problems that really bugged me last time I was there. I reckon I'll still bitch about "My Crap Job" - that's just what I do. I think it helps me sort out what I feel about the situation. It helps me be more honest with myself, in turn allowing me to be critical of myself with a view to improving things. And even though I'll probably end up bitching about stuff, I'm looking forward to the challenges, both personal and professional, that are going to come from this job.

So yes, the Bitching Will Continue Until Morale Improves. You don't have to worry, Brett, I'll still be bitching about my job once the New Shiny Job Smell wears off :)

Don't you love it when two blog posts you were going to write come together nicely as one?