The Blog starts on an unhappy note. I'm currently feeling sorry for myself, having come down with yet another cold. I don't know what it is, but I always get them. I hate them intensely. Yet an unexpected bonus comes from them: sick leave, which is giving me a chance to catch up on some anime, tidy up the house a bit, and sit in thoughless^H^H^H^Hfull contemplation. I should catch up on some reading too, but I don't think I have time for that.

It's a much needed break from work. I've been feeling more and more sure lately that I'm not cut out for the work that I'm doing. When I think about that, I start to wonder if I'd be better cut out for what I really want to do, which leads me to wonder what it is that I don't like about the current work, because I like most of what I do there too. On the other hand, it could be other problems about the workplace, not the work itself, that's causing this. Either way, it's not helping, and I'm feeling that the only way to really progress further is to move on to somewhere else. This is not something that I like to consider, because I feel that the current workplace has a lot of potential that I'd be wasting by moving on now.

Another factor is that the problems at work get to me so much because they're such a strong focus in my day to day life. Outside work, I have (or had) very little interests. I've found in the last few weeks that if I expand my interests, then less focus is put on works problems. This has so far had a good impact, except now I've come down with a flu, and can't be involved in those interests (they seem to mostly be physical). Back to square one. This has always been a problem for me. I like having a lot of time to myself. I could have this time, but given where I used to live and the transport considerations, there was little time for anything else other than that time to myself. Even though I don't have those limits anymore, it's still a hard habit to break.

Regardless, I think that once I'm better, I might take some time off to try to develop those interests, and re-focus on what's important: living. This sick leave might be nice, but I think I need a real break.

So I decide to join the bandwagon and start a Web Log. I get the feeling that this can be an outlet for people to vent their frustration, share their thoughts, or just muse. Whatever. For me, I'll just wait and see how it turns out.

I recall that I used to keep a personal "diary" type thing after I finished highschool, and kept it up for nearly 6 months. This habit grew out of a similar "communal" diary that a group of my friends and I kept together. We'd leave notes to each other in them, general statements about life itself, rants, etc. That tapered off after uni started (for some of us anyway) because we weren't able to keep in as close contact after that. I decided to keep my own diary that I used to keep personal notes in, but mainly to try to lay out my thoughts at the time, analyse them, and try to wring from them some sort of answer or reason for my thoughts. Therapy.

During some traumatic events later that year (first year of Uni), the habit ceased to be. I've always intended to return to the habit. I once actually started it again, lasted one entry (long one, mind you), and then gave it up. I intend to continue this blog. I think that initially this will be a cathartic experience, however I hope it evolves into something of a more philosophical nature.

"When defending their country, people often refer to 'Free thought' as being 'Unpatriotic'."